Being an Irishman my own self (County Antrim is from whence my ancestors emigrated to America), I'll be wishing you a Happy St. Patrick's Day, and share a few stories to brighten your day:
A good friend of mine and I were at Keeneland, the local racetrack here in Lexington, last fall, and not doing well at all on our picks. We had met an Irish priest, over here to visit some relatives in the horse business, who was doing quite well, so we decided to watch him and see if we could divine his secrets. Before the 4th race, we saw Father Murphy looking closely at one particular horse, make the sign of the cross, and then place his wager. The horse won! Before the 5th race, the same thing happened! Two races had us convinced, so we waited until Father Murphy chose a horse for the 6th race and then ran to the betting window to win our fortune.
They went to the post in the 6th, and our horse broke in good position. He looked good at the first turn, but on the backstretch began to waiver. He made one great lunge at the head of the stretch, and fell stone-dead. We wandered back to the saddling paddock, grumbling as we tore up our tickets, when Father Murphy's cousin, a groom at Ashford Stud, asked what was wrong. We told him and he smiled and said, "Ah, me lads, you'll be needing to figure out the difference in Father Murphy blessin' a horse, and givin' him his last rites."
Then there's this legal story, one of my favorites:
Lawyer: 'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Shea, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?' O'Shea the farmer: 'That's right, sir.' Lawyer: 'Well then, Mr O'Shea, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?' O'Shea the farmer: 'When the Garda arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him. Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say: 'I've never felt better in my life.'
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.



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