I saw a newspaper photo today from a pro-gay marriage rally in Maine, the latest battleground in that issue's spreading war. A person was holding a sign that said, "We All Deserve the Freedom to Marry." The thought pattern that produced that sign, which reflects the approach of much of the LGBT lobby on this issue, is simply and patently wrong.
First, just who is "we all"? All people? Or all gays? Or all Mainers? I'm confused.
The Word "deserve" is in and of itself troubling. According to my dictionary, "deserve" means "to be worthy of; merit." In that sense, are they advocating some sort of condition precedent to marriage, such as a maturiy level to commit to one another? Or are they saying that gays are somehow more "deserving" of the institution of marriage than heterosexuals? There are legal requirements for marriage, such as age, but to argue that one "deserves" to marry is at best a misnomer.
My real problem, though, and the point of this post, is the phrase "Freedom to Marry." I don't really think there is any such thing. Marriage has two components, only one of which is a legal requirement. As a matter of civil law, marriage is a state of existence that is recognized for certain purposes. Tax filing status; health insurance coverage; rights of inheritance; rights of determination such as health care issues; and certain other, specific purposes exist for which it makes a legal difference if two individuals are legally married. Under the broad, sovereign powers of the states, they can each determine as a matter of state law what persons can achieve the legal status of "married." Thus, Massachussetts, and several other states have decided to allow gay marriage, while several others have not.
But this is not a fundamental "freedom" that is anywhere enumerated in our Constitutional system of laws. Some would argue this as an issue of "equal protection under the laws", but to do so is to stretch the meaning of the Equal Protection clause far beyond its original intent and purpose. Otherwise, gay marriage is not enumerated as is freedom of speech, religion, assembly, bearing arms, and the other freedoms we are granted by our system of laws. Rather, it is a matter of each state defining those persons who may qualify for the status as "married."
The other component of "marriage" that comes into play in some couples is the religious. Most religions have provisions for granting and/or blessing a marriage within their ecclesiology. This has little to do with the civil union I mentioned above; religious ceremonies must be conducted by someone who is also licensed by the state to do so for them to have legally binding effect. Religious denominations have varying requirements for a couple to become recognized as married - our very freedom of religion allows for each different group to set its own standards. This freedom, however, is not a "freedom of marriage."
The idea of a "freedom of marriage" is perhaps a good marketing move to appeal to Americans, who tend to treasure our fundamental freedoms at some level. It is, however, an incorrect basis under which to consider the significant step of legal recognition of "marriage." The issue is more whether recognition of gay marriage would confer some sort of benefit on society as a whole, and whether it is consistent with our guiding principles and standards. That is a much more difficult question.
UPDATE: The voters of the State of Maine appear to have passed a referendum to repeal a state law allowing gay marriages. With almost 90% of the precincts reporting, the pro-repeal vote had a 53% to 47% margin.
The misperception of the meaning of this vote, however, continues. One proponent of gay marriage has been quoted as saying, "It hurts. It hurts personally. "It's a personal rejection of us and our relationship, and I don't understand what the fear is." Ah, yes, the "homophobia" card by another name, plus trying for sympathy by claiming personal rejection.
I have talked to many people about this issue, and I have yet to meet anyone who "fears" anyone from the LGBT lobby. If there is fear, it is about what may happen to American society if we start down this slippery slope of providing legal recognition to such relationships. There has long been a societal norm, based in large part upon the reproductive biology with which we have been created. There remains considerable debate and no scientifically accepted understanding of homosexuality - the "nature vs. nurture" question remains unresolved. If society chooses, in a democratically-conducted manner, to not venture into the unknown realm of recognition of gay marriage, then that is the legal and Constitutional right of each sovereign state to make that choice.
This debate needs to be removed from the emotional, fear-based accusations being used by the LGBT, and into the arena of facts. What would it mean, in a civil-legal context, if LGBT relationships were to become eligible for "married-filing-jointly" tax status? For family coverage in health insurance plans? To make spousal decisions in health care and inheritance settings? In countries and states where LGBT marriages are allowed, how do these relationships compare to heterosexual ones? On all of these bases, is gay marriage something that should be allowed in a civil, secular context? Why, or why not?
Approval by religious denominations and the availability of rites of marriage is, and should be, a wholly different question. Each denomination should look to its historic principles and abide by them, in my opinion. Those who cannot abide by the principles should feel free to break away and form their own denomination, and not hijack that which is existing and is established. Unlike TEO.

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